THE OWNER;

I'm here alone
thinking about my life,
People don't understand me,

I don't understand them either.
Never did, never will.

Carlson, 25thOCT
Nick: ahCoW
FRIENDSTER
just an emokid

INTERESTS;
LIKES: LOYALTY
HONESTY
PEACE
Green apple and Mango
HATES: BETRAYER
BACKSTABBER
LIAR

EMO song;

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SCREAMS;


CBOX :D

LINKS;

Audrey.
Alice.
Asyura.
Brenda.
Chanel.
Dexter.
Guo Ming.
Hui Lee.
Ivan.
James.
Jia Yi ; meimei.
Kitty.
Lisa.
Minghee.
Raymond.
Ruoyi.
Ryan.
Sfyqah.
Shane.
Shawn.
Sharon.
ShiQi.
Shortisa.
ShiWei.
Shuyu.
Siti Shahira.
Sumin.
Tingyuan.
Wendy.
Winnie.
Xinyi.
Yew Suan.
Ying Yi.

MEMORIES;

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2010

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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The night my companion, solitude my guide.

I like when the night is here.
here comes my companion.:)
when night comes, i shall be back to myself.
tiring life.
bored with that fake smile fake expression.
giving up soon.
i dont have that strength..
it just sucks big time.

chose to be alone.
cause, i have no other choice.
thats the only choice.
if you think this is negative thoughts, you are wrong.
reflect yourself before talking to me.
my mind is clear. especially night time.

loneliness is my new best friend.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009

Sometimes I wonder, why words can mean nothing and silence can mean everything.
Why voicing it out mean nothing and typing it out mean everything.
Why am i living when i feel like dying.
Why loneliness when i ask for happiness.
Why lie to me when i ask for the truth.
Why dont you reflect when you said i think too much.
Why dont you appear when i ask for you.
Why did you appear when i dont ask for you.
Why dont you bother when i care for it.
Why dont you care when i bother about it.
Why dont you do something when i dont ask for nothing.
Why did you do something when i ask for nothing.
Why is there a crowd when i ask for time being alone.
Why am i alone when i ask for a crowd.


Why am i talking to myself every night.
Why am i facing problems all by myself.

I did talk to myself every night as i could not find any people to talk to.
I just want someone to listen to me.
thats fine with me as i am used to it.

Facing problems by myself is a form of growing but nobody seems to care. i shall live my life the way i like.

Nobody seems to care on whats bothering me and they seems to care on whats bothering them.

Life is just nothing but lies..
Life is just nothing but fucking lies.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Saturday, June 27, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009

life is so unpredictable.
so we must live our life to the fullest.
dont live for others
live for yourself
dont wanna bother about what others thinking anymore
shall do what is right for me
thinking about others will only pull yourself down.
just heck care about them and make life happier.
dont bother talking to people who have not done some self reflection
do some reflection before you talk to me. -.-
cant be bother anymore.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sometimes I wonder why words can mean nothing and silence can mean everything.
life seems to get meaningless. . .
sometimes feel like giving up.
but i knew i cant.
too bad then.
life sucks big time but still continues..
PATHETIC.
more motivation please.
i had enough with all those rubbish out there.
cant you give me a better life?
do i deserve all these craps?
shouldnt get bother by it, but why is it coming to my mind, always?
seriously i need to learn something.


Some people wear their smiles like a disguise. Those people who smile a lot, watch their eyes. I know cause I'm like that a lot. You think everything's okay, and it is till it's not.
smiling and laughing all day long.
it seems to be me in daylight.
corner is my best buddy.
thats the only place where i can get my listening ears,
'someone' who can understand me..
so it seems like i am emo during night time.
whats more do you expect from emokid?

current mood: angry,disappointed.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Sunday, June 21, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009

guess it is time.
not moving on.
but creating another path for myself. :)

perhaps it will leads me to a wonderful life?haha
hmm, needs motivation.xD
by myself..not gonna taking advices from people.
sorry about that.
cause this is somehow quite a tough route for me..lol.

from now on.
i shall live my life to the fullest
not going to let something to stop it from moving.
i guess it is just some wishful thinking.haha.
but who cares.xD.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009

perhaps you wanna know how am i.
songs lyrics will just show how i feel.


Im sitting here
Thinking bout
How im gon-na do without
You around in my life and how am I
I gon' get by
I ain't got no days
Just lonely nights
You want the truth
Well girl im not alright
Feel out of place and out of time
I think im gonna lose my mind
So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (are you lonely)
Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time)
So let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that i will never love again
I miss your face
I miss your kiss
I even miss the arguments
That we would have from time to time
I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here its clear to see
There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me
Don't wanna live, I wanna die
If I cant have you in my life
So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (are you lonely)
Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time, so lonely)
Oh let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that I will never love again



totally not in the mood.
enervated.
tired of life..
tired of everything.
goodbye~

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009

had celebration just now.haha.
it is fun.
lots of memories.
but we cant turn back the clock.
so have to face the reality.

speaking of reality
it really sucks.
have to faced it in any way
nevermind. this is how we gets stronger
i hope that there will be no more troubles for it
for being alone

shall not remain as a fool anymore.
move on with life.
dont wanna let some bad memories to stop my life.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Saturday, June 13, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009

When we truly realise that we are lonely, this is the time where we need others the most.
“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”

the greatest achievement is to overcome loneliness. is that possible?
to overcome it, you must make sure that you are able to give up love and friendship.
thats the only way where we can get rid of loneliness.

love and friendship always let us feel so lonely.
just another step, just one little step,
i am going to overcome it.
perhaps, they are not suppose to be needed in my life.
cheers to solitude. welcome "lonely life"
say bye to those bastards and bitches.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Friday, June 12, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009

whats wrong with my life?
everything seems wrong.
ignorance again.
loner for life..
since i cant be bother by them,
then i shall not bother about them
life still move on..

you will only understand the care from someone until the day they stop caring.
I was lost. There was nobody for me to talk to about all that were troubling me with. So I sat alone, with everything inside, and cried myself to sleep.
days after days.
i think this is my life.
welcoming my new life.

i am a loner..

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009

CARLSON

IS


DEAD

DEAD

DEAD!


leave me alone.. dont bother me..
get lost. -.-

i think that i will never fall in love again..

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.
I never knew what I had until the first day it wasn't there.

I was lost. There was nobody for me to talk to about all that you were troubling me with. So I sat alone, with everything inside, and cried myself to sleep.
I never knew until that moment, what it was like to lose something I never really had.


good thing is that, you let me understand something.
life still goes on.
i have no rights to do anything.
just get back to my emo self.
And when you begin to miss me, dont forget it was you who let me go.
just maintain this silence since words doesnt mean anything now.
silence means everything.
when you cant control things, just let it be.
its useless bothering it.

emoing..

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Saturday, June 6, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009

If I would tell you
How much you mean to me
I think you wouldn't understand it
So I wait, I wait
Until this day comes
When you will understand me

But I can't help myself
I can't stop myself
I am going crazy
I can't stop myself
I cannot control myself
I am going crazy

And I love you
I want you
I wanna talk to you
I wanna be with you
And I love you
I want you
I wanna talk to you
I wanna be with you

I cannot change it
I'm sure not making it
One big hell of a fuss
I cannot turn my back
I've got to face the fact
Life without you is hazy

And I love you ...

Kiss me, thrill me don't say goodbye
Hold me, love me don't say goodbye
Oh, oh, oh, ... don't say goodbye

But I can't help myself
I can't stop myself
I'm going crazy
I cannot turn my back...
And I love you ...

emoed.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Friday, June 5, 2009
Friday, June 05, 2009

111th post..lol.
current status: emoing.

corner have been a great friend with me everyday.
i will look for them everytime.

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
Cuz I miss you
When ever you're not around
Whatever it takes I'm not gonna break the promise I made

but theres seems to be a gap.
thought about it, will only make me more depressed.
nothing will make me feel any better except...you.
i enjoy the moments being with you.
by your side.
never gonna let anything hurt you.

i wanna have a drink..
i wanna do lots and lots of things.
just to keep my mind from thinking of this.
i don't know how to face the problems.
i just wanna avoid it.. sigh.
drinking,slacking,listening to music,buy shirts,pants,shoes and more more to come!

emoing in progress~

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Wednesday, June 03, 2009

back for posting~
have been going out these few days..
slack around singapore..lol.
travelling around will always be that fun than staying at home..
bought 2 shirts today..:)
SILVERSTEIN! yeah, finally..hahas.
gonna wear it out tomorrow! haha.

avoiding is always not the best thing to do.
have to face it anyway.. sigh.
gonna slack around at home for another few more hours~


just an emokid~

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.