THE OWNER;

I'm here alone
thinking about my life,
People don't understand me,

I don't understand them either.
Never did, never will.

Carlson, 25thOCT
Nick: ahCoW
FRIENDSTER
just an emokid

INTERESTS;
LIKES: LOYALTY
HONESTY
PEACE
Green apple and Mango
HATES: BETRAYER
BACKSTABBER
LIAR

EMO song;

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SCREAMS;


CBOX :D

LINKS;

Audrey.
Alice.
Asyura.
Brenda.
Chanel.
Dexter.
Guo Ming.
Hui Lee.
Ivan.
James.
Jia Yi ; meimei.
Kitty.
Lisa.
Minghee.
Raymond.
Ruoyi.
Ryan.
Sfyqah.
Shane.
Shawn.
Sharon.
ShiQi.
Shortisa.
ShiWei.
Shuyu.
Siti Shahira.
Sumin.
Tingyuan.
Wendy.
Winnie.
Xinyi.
Yew Suan.
Ying Yi.

MEMORIES;

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2010

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Monday, October 20, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008

Thanks alot to those who send me their blessing..=)
i will do my very best and will not let you all down!
hmm..going to revise and memorise them..
thanks again!hahas. =)



At this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration. Maybe you have, but whatever may have been the cause of your inherent anxiety, you regard the situation as intolerable. Your are, however, sufficiently competent to turn that situation around - you have overcome similar problems in the past, and really this one isn't too different.

Everything seems to be going against you at this time. Try as you may you are meeting with considerable resistance at every turn. Nothing is going as you would plan. The situation is difficult and you are trying to persist in your objectives against resistance. It would appear that you are being very secretive about your future plans just in case people around you try to thwart you.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

Whatever has caused the situation, you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam... One minute you experience 'highs' and a few moments later 'lows'. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.

You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.

Sounds true to me =)

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008

again,it is one sided love..=X
no matter what, i will try to be what i am..=)

but try not to let this afffect me..=X
shall try harder next time..=)

give me some time..
SMILES. =)

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

hmm..it is around 1am plus..
hehes.

have to sleep soon..=X

went out today.
learn quite a number of things..lol.
hopefully i can gain more knowledge =)

prefer to learn more things rather than being stuck in one place..
lols.
staying in one place is quite boring..

anyway, start to fall for....
hope miracle would come. =X
takecare.=)

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Friday, October 17, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008

i am super tired now..=X
yawns..

Anyway, i shall work harder =)
SMILES. =)

also, i have did something wrong already..
hopefully, things would gets better..
i need help..=X

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Thursday, October 16, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008

No more emo..=)

You are the reason that i smile..=)

this is cool..xD

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Decided to post suddenly..=X
or maybe just bored..

Anyway, for those who do not know me..
Let me tell u..
I would not go forward to talk to u..
I would only talk to u when u start talking to me..


PISSED off..
could not do a better job..
i wanted to be at my best...
why i does not have the opportunity to do so..
Zzzzzzzzz..

Let nature take its course..
thats what everyone would says..
but, not applicable to me..=X
thats because nothing is happening..
as for what everyone should do now is to...
SMILE! =)

don't fake it..
bad for health..=X


It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
My heart is like an open highway
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life..
nice lyric..=X

don't feel like talking..=X

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008

DAMN..
MOODLESS..

how does it feels when you are unable to stop smiling?=X
hopefully there is..
everyone would say, open your heart and will see..
i am trying my best =X

it is still tough..
ARGH!
why is there this kind of feelings?..
damn it.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Monday, October 13, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008

DAMN..
i am moodless again..=.=
problems comes after another..

how i wish all these could put an end to it..
zzz.
tomorrow UT.
gonna flung it..=.=

don't talk to me..zzz.
ARGH!

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Sunday, October 12, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008

hmm..
damn happy today..as compared to those days..hahas.
anyway, firstly,
all the best to someone..=)
hope u 2 last long..hahas.
jiayou! xD


no more emo..=)

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wednesday, October 08, 2008

met some old friends today..=)
being a long time since we go out..lol.
anyway, saw some element caps just now...
but don't have the cap i like..=X

where can i look for those caps..
nvm.. so vexed now.
exams coming..ARGH!

anyway, having some thoughts that i hate..
what so good about BGR..=.=
better to be emo..=)

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008

guess what?
today new faci..lol.
BORED man. INTRODUCTION AGAIN..=.=
but..
talk about sports, i seriously never go on sports for quite a long time..=X
start to crave for badminton, basketball and also my favourite hangout..
GYM! hahas..
should i say i have not been playing badminton for almost a year?lol..
and ya my racket is collecting dust..hais.
who can play badminton with me..hehe.
also, have been a long time since i touch basketball..=X
seriously, many things i wanted to do, i have not done any..=(

but, i still love slacking..hahas.
slack is the best thing to do..lols.
communication!=X
woot i just found out that i post another post again for today..=X

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

“I'll make music, whether or not anyone is listening, for the rest of my life. It's a natural form of expression for me, the same way I draw and write and sing.”
- Brandon Boyd, lead singer of alternative rock band Incubus.

nice quote from communication module today =)
but have a change of faci..
introduction again. =.=
boring..
yet another time having first break out at 10.30
always this module..DAMN.
feeling damn very irritated suddenly..
totally moodless..
don't ask me why cause i don't even know why..

i would rather express to myself than express to people..
just find it even more irritated when you express yourself to others..=X

dead..
no longer socialable..
no longer easy-going..
25OCTOBER faster come..
wanna have a drink so badly..

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Monday, October 6, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008

dead inside, happy outside..=.=
life sucks.
but it isnt when you are so blessed with good friends around..
friends are the most important people that can let you move on in life..
but with bad friends, life is dead..
no life at all..
so sucks sucks sucks..
emo me..=X

i am just imperfect, worthless and HATRED..
somehow you will find meaningless in life when you faced all these..
pull myself through please..
life simply sucks.
my life is dead...

anyway, dye/bleach my hair...
don't know whether i dye or bleach it..
makes no difference..
nevermind, at least my hair got colour..
better than boring black hair..
trying to change more and more..
hitting my targets still far..
don't know how many months more..DAMN.
it just sucks man..
giving up real soon..
the more you drag, the more painful it gets.
ARGH!

*dead*

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Sunday, October 5, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008

please..
hate me please..
i am damn irritating and annoyable..
i am not fit to be a good friend of anyone..

hate me hate me hate me..
cause i am hating myself now..

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Saturday, October 4, 2008
Saturday, October 04, 2008

hatred..
it bings alot of painful memories to the heart that nobody cannot tolerate it..
it just cant get off your mind even if you are avoiding it..
so what if life have full of up and downs?
hatred just cover up your whole life..
does not really let you have the thoughts that life is full of colours..
with hatred, life is almost like black and white..
you cant find any meaning of living in this world..

hatred comes along with depression,
where it could be one of the symton of depression...


dead mentally, alive physically..
this kind of world simply sucks..

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Friday, October 3, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008

dead...
giving up almost everything in life..
shall live on what i am doing now..
a load of crap with things getting better in time..
is a bullshit man..=.=

it just sucks sucks sucks..
life is colourful like shit..
black and white world is the only thing in this world..
DAMN.

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.

Thursday, October 2, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008

hmm..having break time now..
today is cognitive module..
feel like posting cause i does not have the time to post after that..lol
today lesson is damn difficult..can only understand bit by bit..

and...bought a black hoody and a cap.=)
now i am wearing it..hahas.
nice.xD
gonna buy more and more things..lol.

formal shirt shall be the next target..lols.
hopefully i shall quit that..
please stop me!


Carlson is dead..
OFFICIALLY DEAD..=.="

Everything I've believed in, has lied to me.